mr. cow boris

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lyrics

Human Head Pizza

What kind of pizza do you like?
Human head.
What kind of pizza is your fave?
Human head.

Tracheautomatic Nutball

Brush your teeth and go to bed, don't forget you gots to eat.
Slap yourself and lick the meatball, Chinese food rots on the shelf.

You obey only one nutball: Mr. Tracheautomatic Nutball

Call your friends way out west, don't forget about Incest.
Tell them all the good news - between you and Nutball, you will lose.

You obey only one nutball: Mr. Tracheautomatic Nutball

There are things that you will learn
When the nutball comes along
Forget your mom, forget your dad -
Nutball's the best that you've ever had
You've got no choice but to obey
Mr. Tracheautomatic Nutball

You obey only one nutball: Mr. Tracheautomatic Nutball

You Know Where You Can Put That Meat (Meat)
There are things that you don't know
There is meat wherever you go
Get that meat away from me
I don't want to see your dirty meat
I don't want to see your dirty meat

You know where you can put that meat (meat)

You keep it in the car, that's no place for meat
You keep it in the couch, that's no place for meat
Keep it in the freezer, that's where it belongs
Every other place, now that's just wrong
I’ve said it before, I'll say it again:
Pants are no place for dirty meat

Bloodbath Birdcage

Well he flies around all in my face
Like he truly believes I owe him something
Years ago I sang about him and even now
He's still all up in my shit

Well there's blood and feathers everywhere and
You’d think that I'd be super sad
But I just laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh at
This bloodbath birdcage everywhere

Tweety Tweety Tweety you're a rat with wings
Get out of my face
I sang about you so long ago, so long ago
And now you're still all up in my shit

Well there's blood and feathers everywhere and
You’d think that I'd be super sad
But I just laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh at
This bloodbath birdcage everywhere

I Have To Do Things

Sometimes eyeballs they seem to itch
Sometimes you are a little bitch
These are things that I have to deal with
Strap me in a tiny car seat

I have to do things I don't want to do
Number one is dealing with you
I have to do things I don't want to do
Number two is tying my shoes

Sometimes my nose it seems to itch
Sometimes you are a little bitch
These are things that I have to deal with
Strap me in a baby car seat

I have to do things I don't want to do
Number one is dealing with you
I have to do things I don't want to do
Number two is tying my shoes

Squishball 2007

Olympic assholes in a supermarket
Buying fried cheese in a donut shop
Turning around, fucking the ground

Well, that’s what you get when you are nice.
That’s what you get when you tell the truth.
That’s what you get when you break no rules.
Squishball.

Butter supper mother fucker
Jumping deadly on a pogo-stick
Swinging high, killing low
Olympic assholes in a supermarket
Buying fried cheese in a donut shop
Turning around, fucking the ground

Well, that’s what you get when you are nice.
That’s what you get when you tell the truth.
That’s what you get when you break no rules.
Squishball.

I’m how you feel when there is no sound
You’re how they feel when they look in the mirror
Everyone should die.
Origami pie.

Well, that’s what you get when you are nice.
That’s what you get when you tell the truth.
That’s what you get when you break no rules/when you’re an Amway Salesman.
Squishball.

Slip and Slide

Long long gone along with my penis, ha-ha,
We can do what we want, just show her da luv

The sun shines out of my ass
and Emily Explosion wants to jump my bones
Like a monkey fat-ass cocktail concussion
Whatcha gonna do about that?

Slip slip slip slip and slide
Slip slip slip slip and slide
Dollar ninety-nine, folks
Dollar ninety-nine
Slip slip slip slip and slide
Slip slip slip slip and slide
Whatchoo say? Whatchoo say?

The sun shines out of my ass
and you're more embarrassed than a goth with dandruff
Like a monkey fat-ass cocktail concussion
Whatcha gonna do about that?

Slip slip slip slip and slide
Slip slip slip slip and slide
Dollar ninety-nine, folks
Dollar ninety-nine
Slip slip slip slip and slide
Slip slip slip slip and slide
Whatchoo say? Whatchoo say?
BLAH BLAH BLAH

Happy Birthday (to) Fatty

Happy happy birthday
Fatty

You can't eat the cake until you lose the weight
Fatty Fatty Fatty
Dummy dummy dummy
You can't eat the cake until you lose the weight
Fatty Fatty Fatty
You're a dummy

But I love to love you, baby.

If You Love Me (Just Stop)

If you love me, just stop

I don't love you baby, I just love your sister
Your mama's okay, your grandma's okay
But your sister is the one for me

If you love me, just stop

I don't love you baby, I just love your sister
Your mama's okay, your grandma's okay
But your sister is the one for C.B.

The Company Dime

Every time you listen it just sounds so wrong
Your head is as leaky as the day is long

There are birds and there are bees
Dance to the rhythm as you eat the cheese

You all want so bad to be Cow Boris
But the closest you can get is singing this chorus:

“Cow Boris. Cow Boris.
Creeped out like fuck when I hear your name.”

1234567
All smart monkeys can count to eleven

You smell like really old wine
Drinking again on the company dime

He always made us so damn proud
Little did we know he was poorly endowed

I know it's all you have in your sad life
But my album's almost finished - put down the knife

Every time you listen it just sounds so wrong
Your head is as leaky as the day is long

There are birds and there are bees
Dance to the rhythm as you eat the cheese

You all want so bad to be Cow Boris,
But the closest you could get was singing that chorus.